Granger on Movies: ‘Hitman: Agent 47’
Published 3:03 pm, Sunday, August 30, 2015
Fairfield Citizen film critic Susan Granger reviews the new movie, “Hitman: Agent 47.”
Even in the dog days of August, there’s no excuse for this dreadful, mind-numbing reboot!
Based on a video game, it updates Timothy Olyphant’s 2007 adaptation, casting British actor Rupert Friend (TV’s “Homeland”) as the elite, elusive assassin, who is genetically engineered to be the perfect killing machine, identified only by the last two digits on the barcode tattooed on the back of his bald head.
Suffering from a mysterious ailment and over-medicated with prescription pills, Katia (Hannah Ware) is on the run in Berlin, searching for her scientist father, Dr. Livenko (Ciaran Hinds), who devised the first Agent program and is now in hiding.
Although she’s ostensibly clairvoyant, she doesn’t realize she’s being targeted until she encounters an American named John Smith (Zachary Quinto), who serves as her ostensible protector — or is he?
Endowed with strength, speed and stamina, stoic Agent 47 is after an evil Syndicate that plans to unlock the secret of his past to create a super-military force whose powers will surpass even his own.
Problem is, early in the fight between Agent 47 and John Smith in the engine-testing facility, the face of Zachary Quinto’s stuntman is clearly visible, breaking any semblance of continuity.
Incoherently scripted by Skip Woods and Michael Finch, it’s senselessly helmed by Aleksander Bach, making his directing debut with a multitude of uber-violent fight scenes and explosive car crashes, while visiting the sights of Singapore’s Marina Bay.
Audi must have paid mightily for product placement, and astute spotters report there’s even a reference to the popular Danish video game when a yellow rubber duck is shown floating in a bathtub along with a partially submerged toaster.
FYI: Paul Walker was cast in the title role, building on the success of his “Fast and Furious” franchise, before his sudden death in November 2013.
On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Hitman: Agent 47” is a tedious, idiotic 2. But obviously, there were hopes for a sequel, since there’s the introduction of yet another clone.