Taxpayers of Fairfield, I need your help.

I'm building a new house, and I told my architect I wanted a 3,000 square-foot house with six rooms. He brought me plans for a 33,000-square-foot house with 16 rooms.

Well, I really like the plans for the bigger house better. So if all of you taxpayers just send me some money, I can have the house built.

Oh, and I won't come back and ask for any more money next year -- unless I feel I need an addition.

Joan Fortuna

Fairfield